HUMOROUS CAKE TOPS RECIPES

Steps:

• Stir together flour, soda and salt. Beat butter at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy; gradually add flour mixture, mixing well. Stir in vanilla. (Dough will be soft.) Cover and chill 30 minutes. Arrange pecan halves in groups of five on greased baking sheets to resemble head and legs of turtle.
• Shape dough into 1 1/2-inch balls, using a rounded teaspoonful of dough for each so tips of nuts will show when cookies are baked. Dip bottom of dough into unbeaten egg white and press lightly onto nuts; flatten tops slightly.
• Bake at 350° for 12 to 14 minutes. (Do not overbake.) Cool completely on wire racks.
• Beat butter in a small mixing bowl at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy. Gradually add sugar, cocoa, and whipping cream, beating until smooth. Generously spread frosting on top of cookies.

Steps:

• Preheat oven to 475°. Grate frozen butter using large holes of a box grater. Toss together grated butter and flour in a medium bowl. Chill 10 minutes.
• Make a well in center of mixture. Add buttermilk, and stir 15 times. Dough will be sticky.
• Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Lightly sprinkle flour over top of dough. Using a lightly floured rolling pin, roll dough into a 3/4-inch-thick rectangle (about 9 x 5 inches). Fold dough in half so short ends meet. Repeat rolling and folding process 4 more times.
• Roll dough to 1/2-inch thickness. Cut with a 2 1/2-inch floured round cutter, reshaping scraps and flouring as needed.
• Place dough rounds on a parchment paper-lined jelly-roll pan. Bake at 475° for 15 minutes or until lightly browned. Brush with melted butter.
• For Pillowy Dinner Rolls: Cut in 1/2 cup cold shortening instead of cold butter. You'll get a soft biscuit that stays tender, even when cool. Plus, shortening has a neutral flavor that will complement anything on your dinner plate.
• For Sweet Shortcakes: Add 2 Tbsp. sugar to the flour, and replace buttermilk with heavy cream. The sugar lends the biscuits a subtle sweetness, and the extra fat in heavy cream gives them a crumbly texture like shortbread. They're the perfect base for shortcake desserts.
• For Crunchy-Bottomed Biscuits: Warm a cast-iron skillet in the oven, and spread a bit of butter in the skillet before adding the biscuits. The bottoms will end up crunchy and golden brown and provide a sturdy base that holds up to a smothering of sausage gravy.
• For Pickle Biscuits: Why didn't we think of these sooner? Stir 4 Tbsp. drained dill pickle relish into buttermilk before adding to flour mixture. Split baked biscuits, and top with ham and mustard for the World's Best Ham Sandwich! We promise.